What Not To Do During a Stage (Also not what to expect)

First off, I hate stages ("stage" is a fancy French word for working for free to see if a restaurant wants to hire you. But, in most cases, it's an excuse for "FREE" work that the restaurant cares about). When I was in advertising in New York City, I just interviewed for a job. At worse, they didn't use me. At best, they PAID me to "freelance" to see if I worked out).

But in restaurants, they expect you to work for free. Why? You got me. But this is the same business that expects you to do a "practical" (cook what the restaurant wants) as a sous chef to prove you can cook. Or a "Tasting" to prove you can cook as a head chef. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR RESUME SHOWS YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED! I'm not hating on that though (yes, I am). Because I have met more than a few people in the business who simply could not cook (On a job interview, one chef simply asked if I could cook. I was shocked at the question). Many can follow recipes and do orders well, and were great at paperwork. But, given a free hand at food, they sucked. That's it. Simple.

Yet, in advertising, I ALREADY knew 95-percent of the people in the business sucked. Which is why people hate most TV commercials. But I followed (on advice of great ad people), and worked for, the 5-percent that were great. So I became one of the best ad copywriters in New York City. Sadly though, that did not make it easy to find the next job. Then everyone I used to know, who were great ad people, dropped out of the business for the same reason. It was the finest example of Albert Einstein's comment of the mediocre minds destroying a great mind. Only one, a guy who is one of my best friends, is still in the ad game. And he still hates it for the same reason. I understand why, he is better than the co-workers and clients he has to deals with. But at least he gets paid big money. For now.

Still, I digress.

In the restaurant business, cooks have to stage. It sucks, but there it is. I hate it, but there it is. I just did an 11-hour stage recently, and busted my ass doing it, and didn't get the job (which I really wanted). It was the last straw after doing several stages where people lied to me and pressed me to be my best for hour after hour, then offered me nothing in return. I'm surprised, in the restaurant biz verses the postal jobs, that people don't show up with guns to shoot everyone. God knows, I wanted to do it a few times (but that is one of the reasons why I don't own a gun).

Still, I have heard the funniest stories about those who stage. Which is the point of this blog. What not to do during a stage.

#1 -- Don't tell the Head Chef that you can help improve his/her menu. That is an instant way to not be considered for a job. The head chef put his/her heart and soul in that menu, no matter how you think of it. And it is not your ass on the line with reviewers and foodies. Many times, that is the head chef's first chance at being head chef. So they don't want to hear how you think you can make them better at what they worked so hard to be.

#2 -- However good you are on the line, that doesn't make you a chef. You don't know how many people I ran into who were great on the line, but couldn't do shit when I asked them to make family meal for the staff. Pumping out food on the line doesn't make you a great chef. It may make you a great kitchen manager. I knew a great kitchen manager who was a bad head chef (God, he over cooked the mashed potatoes all the time). I also worked for a chef who once said: "A great line cook doesn't make a great chef. Just like a great chef doesn't make a great line cook." And I am not a great line cook, but a great chef. So go work at a big corporate place if you are a line cook, and that's it, and be happy. But don't think that makes you a great chef.

#3 -- Don't think you can't learn something. A great chef will never admit that he/she knows everything. A great chef will always be open to learn new things, at whatever restaurant they have to stage. I've learned things on a stage, in cuisines I was not interested at doing.. Great things, even from the dishwasher. So don't walk into a stage thinking you are the shit. You are not. No matter what the restaurant's menu shows and what you can do.

#4 -- It may not be about you, so stop thinking it is. That is one of the hardest things I had to learn recently (you'd think I had learned that in advertising). You stage, work your ass off, and you are not hired. You are pissed, but it may be about things that you can't control. I'm not a young guy, but in a young man's business (don't even let me get into my age) but I don't know. My sexual origination could make a different in my business, but I don't know. My race could be a deciding factor, but I don't know (where I knew in advertising). The fact I'm a man, versus a woman, could have been the difference. But, again, I don't know.

I don't know how to act on a stage, except to do my best job. I don't care if you came out of CIA, I don't care if you just landed here from Paris as a cook. You have to play the same game, correctly And if your don't know how to do that, or refuse to -- you may want to consider another career.